story time !!

There was an old man who lived alone. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:

Dear Son,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.

.............................Love, Dad


Shortly, the old man received this telegram: "For
Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!"


At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad.......................... It's the best I could do for you from here."

Moral:
NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART, YOU CAN DO IT. IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT MATTERS NOT WHERE YOU ARE OR WHERE THE PERSON IS.

srry Mr. Bush ;)

While visiting India , George Bush is invited to tea with the Indian
President Dr. Abdul Kalam.

He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. Kalam says that, it is to
surround himself with intelligent people.

Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says Kalam. "Allow me
to demonstrate."

Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, "Mr. Prime
Minister, please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your
father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is
it?"

Manmohan immediately responds, "It's me, Sir!"

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says Kalam. He hangs up and
says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?" Bush nods: "Yes Mr. President.

Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Bush, upon returning to Washington , decides he'd better put Condoleeza Rice to the test.

Bush summons her to the White House and says, "Condoleeza, I wonder if
you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father
has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is
it?"

Rice is puzzled and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back
to you, Sir ?" Bush agrees, and Rice leaves. Rice immediately calls a meeting
of senior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several
hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Rice
calls Colin Powell and explains the problem.

"Mr. Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and
this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."

Much relieved, Rice rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush,
and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's our
Colin Powell!"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong!!, it's Manmohan Singh!!"

learn to copy !

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience.
He said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who
wasn't my wife!"
The audience was in silence and shock.

The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"

Laughter and applause continued!


A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to
crack this very effective joke at home.

He was a bit foggy after a drink.
He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a
woman who was not my wife!"

The wife went wan with shock and rage.

Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke,
the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was!"


Moral of the story:


Don't copy if you can't paste!

--

Women as explained by engineers :P

first one !

nxt :P

3rd

fourth ....

and the last ;)


PS: FOR BETTER CLARITY OF IMAGES CLICK ON THEM :)

thalaivar vaazhka :)

Guys, sad of me to publish myself about my thalaivar !! But seriosly culdn't help it. Thot let every1 have a bit of fun !!




ps: if ur not able to view the text inside the page clearly, please click on the page ...to get a magnified image !!

Petrol in India is cheaper than water ??... :O

With the hike of petrol and diesel in India, inevitable for the government with the rising global price of crude oil – the government is facing the worst case scenario: it could get booed out of power by the voters in the coming elections.

But analysts say any government in power would not have any other option but to bail out the oil companies who were facing bankruptcy. But can you believe that the fuel prices in India is still cheaper than water?


Bemused? Here are the statistics:

Petrol is cheaper than the Coca Cola you drink. It is not just petrol; most liquids that you daily use are more expensive than vehicle fuels as one of our readers pointed out. Here are the latest figures to compare.

Diesel (regular) in Mumbai : Rs.39.08 per litre
Petrol (speed) in Mumbai : Rs.57 per litre
Coca Cola 330 ml can : Rs.20 = Rs.61 per litre
Dettol antiseptic 100 ml Rs.20 = Rs.200 per litre
Radiator coolant 500 ml Rs.160 = Rs.320 per litre
Pantene conditioner 400 ml Rs..165 = Rs.413 per litre
Medicinal mouthwash like Listerine 100 ml Rs.45 = Rs. 450 per litre
Red Bull 150 ml can : Rs.75 = Rs.500 per litre
Corex cough syrup 100 ml Rs.57 = Rs. 570 per litre
Evian water 500 ml Rs. 330 = Rs. 660 per litre. Rs. 500 for a litre of WATER???!!! And the buyers don't even know the source (Evian spelled backwards is Naive.)
Kores whiteout 15 ml Rs. 15 = Rs. 1000 per litre
Cup of coffee at any decent business hotel 150 ml Rs. 175 = Rs. 1167 per litre
Old Spice after shave lotion 100 ml Rs. 175 = Rs. 1750 per litre
Pure almond oil 25 ml Rs. 68 = Rs. 2720 per litre
And this is the REAL KICKER...
HP Deskjet colour ink cartridge 21 ml Rs.1900 = Rs. 90476 per litre!!!

Now you know why computer printers are so cheap? So they have you hooked for the ink !

So, the next time you're at the pump, don't curse the government. On the contrary thank them that you are given fuel at a throw away price. A common man actually uses petrol worth 500 Rs per month and so he is given Rs 110 as subsidy by the government if you calculate by the latest rates.

And imagine what industrialists use? A whopping Rs 10000 per month on an average. The government gives these rich businessmen Rs 2200 as subsidy.

What would you prefer?

girls win !!!!

Good one !!

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike
English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
''House''
for instance, is feminine: ''la casa.'' ''Pencil,'' however, is
masculine: "el lapiz.''

A student asked, What gender is 'computer'?''

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two
groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves
whether
''computer'' should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that ''computer'' should definitely be of the
feminine gender (''la computer''), because

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for
possible later retrieval;

and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending
half your paycheck on accessories for it.


(No chuckling... this gets better!)


The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be
Masculine
(''el computer''), because

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they
ARE the problem;


and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a
little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

---

and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a
little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

marketing concepts

A professor at IIM was explaining marketing concepts:

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising.

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." - That's Telemarketing.

4. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: "By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - That's Public Relations

5. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: "You are very rich! Can you marry me?" - That's Brand Recognition.

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - That's Customer Feedback.

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - That's demand and supply gap.

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person comes and tells her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - That's competition eating into your market share.

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich. Marry me!" your wife arrives. - That's restriction for entering new markets.

!!!!! hope u enjoyed !!!!

goooooogle trik ???

1. Go to Google Images: http://images.google.com

2. Enter in text field, any image you want to search, like bikes, flowers, cars or any other word.

3. You will get a page with alot of images thumbnailed.

4. Now delete the URL on the addressbar (example: Code: http://images.google.nl/images?hl=nl&q=flowers&btnG=Afbeeldingen+zoeken&gbv=2)

5. Copy the script down here, and paste it in your adressbar !

javascript:R= 0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI= document.images ; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i
6. Hit enter

:)